How to get fired

Panic attacks interfering with your ability to meet productivity standards. Depression that interferes with your ability to meet customer needs. Social anxiety that causes you not to interact with the customers. Perhaps it takes you too long to complete tasks, like it takes forever to count your till.

That is pretty lame you fucking loser. Oh I don't want to work, but make money anyways. Pathetic waste of life.

Yes Criss, you are living a most pathetic, sad little existence. I'm surprised you haven't separated from yourself yet as it must be quiet difficult living a life with you. Try not to throw up when you look at yourself in the mirror, you'd be a senseless waste of cleaning products.

[quote=Criss]Please don't flame me... I'm really not a despicable person. My question is: Any ideas how I can get fired "through no fault of my own"? I can't do anything illegal or gross misconduct. Simply not showing up for work would be considered "self- termination".

Sincerely,

Lazy Criss[/quote]

Correction, you really are a despicable person. At least you are honest enough to call yourself lazy. Get your butt out of bed and go to work.

[quote=haydeegomez]Panic attacks interfering with your ability to meet productivity standards. Depression that interferes with your ability to meet customer needs. Social anxiety that causes you not to interact with the customers. Perhaps it takes you too long to complete tasks, like it takes forever to count your till.[/quote]

I concur with these suggestions. I was actually pulled aside and given friendly coaching on my inability to interact well with customers while working. I came from a resturant kitchen before, so I didn't have to. I needed to get adjusted to the idea of talking to people because it's a very important skill all partners have to have and be willing to use.

As for all of you who think you're so much better than Criss because you don't agree with his idea, here's a wakeup call. He's opening an unemployment case...meaning he's going to draw unemployment for a job he had prior to working at Starbucks. If you used your brains, you might realize that this dollar amount is a lot more than what he would earn working at Starbucks. Also, when you draw unemployment you're drawing on money YOU EARNED. There's nothing wrong with taking advantage of money you earned and not working. Anyone who has ever taken a paid vacation is just as guilty as Criss. I say go for it. It's not like he said he's drawing on welfare, which is 100% different. Unemployment is something you earn. I guess some of the more low brow subscribers to this forum are either jealous or hypocites...or both.

This is a discussion about unemployment insurance. You obviously have a superior brain because in another posting, you all but say that you are a shift. Your superior brain tells my little pea brain that using your logic, I should throw myself under a car or bus so that I can collect on my health insurance or maybe even life insurance. After all, I paid for it.

I still say, get off your lazy butt and go to work.

fraplitexxcaramelwithwithwhipohplease

No, it is pathetic and lazy to take advantage of the system. Unemployment is for people who were ACTUALLY laid off, not people who just don't feel like working. Stop siding with lazy fuckholes you stupid whore.